Interrogation Song

The Interrogation Song is a song from Muppets Most Wanted where Sam the Eage and Jean Pierre ask the Muppets questions about the stolen art.

Lyrics

 * Sam: Kermit, let's begin

Describe the day you played Berlin
 * Constantine (pretending to be Kermit): We rehearsed and then we walked about

We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
 * Jean Pierre: That night, at 10:03

Were you inside the portrait gallery? Was when we did the show's encore'' Can you confirm your whereabouts?''
 * ''Constantine: From 10:00 to 10:04
 * ''Sam: Hm, frog, we've got our doubts
 * Constantine: My alibi is watertight

The audience saw me sing all night
 * Jean Pierre: Monsieur, we know you did the crime
 * Constantine: I was onstage that whole time

Ask who sang Rainbow Connection.
 * Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Kermit! No more questions!
 * Jean Pierre (spoken): Hello! I think it's time for good cop/romantic cop.
 * Miss Piggy, you cleaned up lock inside

Now's your chance to save your hide
 * Miss Piggy: Oh, gentlemen, I did not know

It's a crime to steal the show
 * Sam: Tell us how the art was taken
 * Jean Pierre: If you want to save your bacon
 * Miss Piggy: I haven't seen your missing art

All I stole was audience hearts All I've ever taken is a bow''
 * Sam: We can give you a plea deal
 * Jean Pierre: All you have to do is squeal
 * ''Miss Piggy: I'm not a thief, I don't know how
 * Jean Pierre: We'll catch the swine that did this job
 * Miss Piggy: Give up the pig puns, creep!

Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion!
 * Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Piggy! No more questions!
 * Jean Pierre (spoken): I think she likes me, no?
 * Sam (spoken): I don't think your puns are helping the investigation.
 * Jean Pierre: You know, I think they did it
 * Sam: No, they didn't!
 * Jean Pierre: Yes, they did, and we can pin it
 * Sam: If they did, how did they do it?
 * Jean Pierre: If they didn't, how did they didn't?
 * Sam: If they didn't, then it's easy

'Cause they simply didn't do it
 * Jean Pierre: If they did it, then I knew it

But we've nothing that can prove it! On the night you played Madrid?'' And rushed off-stage to the hospital'' About the sculpture theft at Madrid's Prado?'' I spent the night in bed concussed'' Camilla was there, she'll cooperate''
 * (spoken): Ahem. Oh excuse me. Bring in the purple guy with the schnoz.
 * ''Sam: Do you remember what you did
 * ''Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull
 * ''Jean Pierre: Gonzo, what do you know
 * ''Gonzo: I never saw the stolen bust
 * Sam: The truth, Gonzo, the clock is ticking
 * ''Gonzo: If you don't believe me, ask the chicken
 * Jean Pierre: Madam, are you willing to corroborate?
 * Camilla: (clucking)
 * Sam: Will somebody get this chicken out of there?
 * Gonzo: Calm down, Camilla, it's a routine inspection
 * Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Gonzo! No more questions!
 * Jean Pierre: Let's go from the start

What do you know about the stolen art?
 * Lew Zealand: I didn't know there was a plan
 * Dr. Teeth: Your accusation's far out, man!
 * Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: The chances of us committing a crime

Are less than .009 Can you do a full translation?'' "Shnoopdy-shnoopdy-shnoo." It's not Swedish''
 * The Swedish Chef: (Faux-Swedish)
 * ''Jean Pierre: To help with our investigation
 * ''Translator: What the chef just said to you was
 * Animal: (grunts and laughs)
 * Penguins: (quacking)
 * Fozzie Bear: Uh, I can do an Elvis impression
 * Sam and Jean Pierre: Thank you, Muppets! No more questions!
 * Jean Pierre: They didn't
 * Sam: No, they didn't
 * Jean Pierre: There's no way they did the crime
 * Sam: They couldn't, they're too stupid
 * Jean Pierre: They're not criminal masterminds
 * Sam: We do not know who did it

But we know they didn't do it
 * Jean Pierre and Sam: So we know who didn't do it

Yes, we know who didn't do it!
 * Jean Pierre (spoken): They're incapable of being culpable.